Hey friends,

Hope you had a good weekend.

Here’s this week’s 1-1-1.

1 Doodle

This week, I coached an engineer (let’s call him Peter) who was frustrated because a coworker (let’s call him Mike) didn't give him the credit he deserved.

Peter is a senior engineer, and Mike joined the team six months ago. Peter spent four hours of nonstop work training Mike on a task that Mike couldn't have completed on his own, ultimately helping him finish it. That evening, Mike emailed the stakeholder who requested the work, writing: "Here you go, your task is completed and the results are attached."

Their manager was CC’d, yet Peter received zero credit. Mike took full ownership of the deliverable, and their manager had no idea Peter had spent hours training him and doing the heavy lifting.

Peter asked for my advice on navigating this difficult conversation. During our session, I drew a simple visual.

Before having a difficult conversation, it often feels like two planes flying straight into each other on a head-on collision course. But while you can't change the other person's heading, emotional maturity allows you to change your altitude. By controlling your pacing, tone, and emotional response, you fly on a different level entirely, letting the conversation pass without an impact.

1 Do

If you want to handle difficult conversations calmly, confidently, and without damaging relationships, read The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher (not a paid promotion).

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1 Direction

Small adjustments in difficult conversations make a huge difference. Pausing before responding gives you time to process what was said while making the other person feel heard.

I advised Peter not to focus on "winning" the conversation or forcing Mike to admit he stole credit, that shouldn't be the goal. Instead, make the conversation constructive. Reframe the issue collaboratively:

"I want to ensure my contributions are accurately recognized, and I’d like us to agree on how we communicate ownership going forward."

That’s all for this week.

Warmly,

- Ehsan /a-🌞/

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P.P.S. I recently made a video on How do I track my projects using Excel. You can watch it here.

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